The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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