The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
