hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
