i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Buhtt sex?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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