also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
