he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
