Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
