You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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