you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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