So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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