Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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