I look better un-naked...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
