I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
