I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this will be a night to untag.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Are we still banned from the library?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize