you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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