My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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