Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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