Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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