He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
