Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
