i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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