her vagine was all disorganized.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize