Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
