My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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