there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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