I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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