You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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