woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
