I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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