A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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