I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
