Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
