I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
