he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
