So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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