WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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