Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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