At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
