some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
