Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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