I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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