That's when you crack a 10am beer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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