Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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