He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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