Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
