there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
