she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
