I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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