respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Its about making memories worth repressing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
