please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
