oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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