Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
