if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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