why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
