Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
