wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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