he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize