He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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