...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
