Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
